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=== ROUND 32 === | === ROUND 32 === | ||
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Although this was obviously one of the most interesting rounds we've seen in a long while, for me and a large part of my realm, it was a pretty bad round, and collectively we did more to (unintentionally) enable the ultimate winners than we did to prevent them. | Although this was obviously one of the most interesting rounds we've seen in a long while, for me and a large part of my realm, it was a pretty bad round, and collectively we did more to (unintentionally) enable the ultimate winners than we did to prevent them. | ||
− | As always, if you're the kind of person that doesn't like reading or prefers books with pictures, there's a little TL;DR you can skip to at the end that | + | As always, if you're the kind of person that doesn't like reading or prefers books with pictures, there's a little TL;DR you can skip to at the end that summarises this round for me in a single image. |
− | I was Babidi; | + | I was Babidi; I found myself once again in realm #11, my home from last round. The realm had one big pack, led by Sharkey, who said we should adopt the Dragon Ball Z theme he had going on "to show unity". |
I've only ever seen one season of DBZ - the Majin Buu saga. Actually, I've seen the first half of the Majin Buu saga about six times, and the second half once. When I was a kid and DBZ was playing on the Sci Fi channel, it was always on when I got home from school, but Sci Fi only had rights to broadcast the first half of the season, so when they got to the mid-way point they would just loop it back to the start - without warning - and play it all again. The first time they did it I just assumed it was a mistake. As I kid I didn't know anything about 'broadcast rights' or whatever. Then they did it again, and again. I don't know how many times I sat and watched a chubby Majin Buu flying around turning people into chocolates, but even once was too many. Majin Buulshit I say! | I've only ever seen one season of DBZ - the Majin Buu saga. Actually, I've seen the first half of the Majin Buu saga about six times, and the second half once. When I was a kid and DBZ was playing on the Sci Fi channel, it was always on when I got home from school, but Sci Fi only had rights to broadcast the first half of the season, so when they got to the mid-way point they would just loop it back to the start - without warning - and play it all again. The first time they did it I just assumed it was a mistake. As I kid I didn't know anything about 'broadcast rights' or whatever. Then they did it again, and again. I don't know how many times I sat and watched a chubby Majin Buu flying around turning people into chocolates, but even once was too many. Majin Buulshit I say! | ||
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I went nox again and just lazily recycled the same sim from the previous round. I knew - without securing top op protection - that nox would be quite a slow race, but they're still S tier for blops. | I went nox again and just lazily recycled the same sim from the previous round. I knew - without securing top op protection - that nox would be quite a slow race, but they're still S tier for blops. | ||
− | I was almost late to get through click through protection because I drove my car into a river, but that's another story. | + | I was almost late to get through click through protection because I drove my car into a river, but that's another story. |
=== WEEK 1 - THE TYRANNY OF SHARKEY === | === WEEK 1 - THE TYRANNY OF SHARKEY === | ||
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''2022-11-26 14:59:42 Racing To Delete My Bowser History (MannoWrath) (#2) has attacked a neutral wonder!'' | ''2022-11-26 14:59:42 Racing To Delete My Bowser History (MannoWrath) (#2) has attacked a neutral wonder!'' | ||
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''2022-11-26 14:59:42 The Fountain of Youth has been destroyed and rebuilt by Red turtle shell (#2).'' | ''2022-11-26 14:59:42 The Fountain of Youth has been destroyed and rebuilt by Red turtle shell (#2).'' | ||
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''2022-12-03 10:46:39 Fully Cooked Keep Refrigerated (bigchris27) (#8) invaded fellow dominion Chi-chi (#11) and captured 106 land.'' | ''2022-12-03 10:46:39 Fully Cooked Keep Refrigerated (bigchris27) (#8) invaded fellow dominion Chi-chi (#11) and captured 106 land.'' | ||
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''2022-12-03 12:56:13 Hitting Peach from behind with a banana (Erix) (#2) invaded fellow dominion Chi-chi (#11) and captured 90 land.'' | ''2022-12-03 12:56:13 Hitting Peach from behind with a banana (Erix) (#2) invaded fellow dominion Chi-chi (#11) and captured 90 land.'' | ||
GoodJob then ghosted the discord and wouldn't respond to pings or messages asking what he was thinking - and we didn't hear from him again until a week later, when he popped up again to say he wasnt gonna read up on messages but that he definitely wasn't a farm. | GoodJob then ghosted the discord and wouldn't respond to pings or messages asking what he was thinking - and we didn't hear from him again until a week later, when he popped up again to say he wasnt gonna read up on messages but that he definitely wasn't a farm. | ||
− | It would later become apparent GoodJob just wasn't bothering to check the ops in his range (all readily available in the ops centre and discord channels) and was just sending on whoever he could hit. A farm, but one that really wasn't concerned with who took his acres. | + | It would later become apparent GoodJob just wasn't bothering to check the ops in his range (all readily available in the ops centre and discord channels) and was just sending on whoever he could hit. A farm, but one that really wasn't concerned with who took his acres. |
=== WEEK 3 - THE PRECIOUS CONVERTERS === | === WEEK 3 - THE PRECIOUS CONVERTERS === | ||
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''2022-12-07 13:53:23 Modern Warfare (#6) has declared WAR on Grumble Volcano (#2)'' | ''2022-12-07 13:53:23 Modern Warfare (#6) has declared WAR on Grumble Volcano (#2)'' | ||
− | Koopa had let his forest havens he'd accidentally | + | Koopa had let his forest havens he'd accidentally trained with a few careless misclicks wind down from 5% to 3%, so his fireball damage reduction went from "what a delightfully warm breeze, perhaps I'll take my jumper off" to "it's getting a bit bright outside, close the blinds dear". |
If we didn't have our precious converters to consider, we'd have jumped in as well. | If we didn't have our precious converters to consider, we'd have jumped in as well. | ||
− | Ah, precious converters. Landing in a realm with them always drags down your war prospects for basically a whole month. It's like being handed someone else's baby - defenceless and | + | Ah, precious converters. Landing in a realm with them always drags down your war prospects for basically a whole month. It's like being handed someone else's baby - defenceless and shitting itself - and being told "now don't you take that newborn into war, Rush, that's not a nice thing to do!" Listen, if it were up to me I'd duct tape a knife to their hands and load them into a catapult. But apparently that's me being not being a team player. |
Goku (Stevie Wonder), our currently defenceless baby human converter, was looking great - and provided nobody noticed him he could actually do quite well. Unfortunately realm #9 had noticed him, and Squilliam, when he wasn't chairing meetings at the Koopa Snacks Club, was permanently swarming and plaguing him, as well as stealing all his ore. | Goku (Stevie Wonder), our currently defenceless baby human converter, was looking great - and provided nobody noticed him he could actually do quite well. Unfortunately realm #9 had noticed him, and Squilliam, when he wasn't chairing meetings at the Koopa Snacks Club, was permanently swarming and plaguing him, as well as stealing all his ore. | ||
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''2022-12-09 11:48:54 Hitting Peach from behind with a banana (#2) invaded Fully Cooked Keep Refrigerated (#8) and captured 162 land.'' | ''2022-12-09 11:48:54 Hitting Peach from behind with a banana (#2) invaded Fully Cooked Keep Refrigerated (#8) and captured 162 land.'' | ||
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''2022-12-09 16:07:56 Koopa Troopas Den of Questions (#2) invaded Fully Cooked Keep Refrigerated (#8) and captured 134 land.'' | ''2022-12-09 16:07:56 Koopa Troopas Den of Questions (#2) invaded Fully Cooked Keep Refrigerated (#8) and captured 134 land.'' | ||
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''2022-12-18 09:59:52 Koopa Troopas Den of Questions (#2) invaded Dope Fiend Dasher (Bobbo) (#7) and captured 178 land.'' | ''2022-12-18 09:59:52 Koopa Troopas Den of Questions (#2) invaded Dope Fiend Dasher (Bobbo) (#7) and captured 178 land.'' | ||
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''2022-12-18 23:58:41 Koopa Troopas Den of Questions (#2) invaded Gimme some of that good magic (Dayvinho) (#8) and captured 196 land.'' | ''2022-12-18 23:58:41 Koopa Troopas Den of Questions (#2) invaded Gimme some of that good magic (Dayvinho) (#8) and captured 196 land.'' | ||
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Meanwhile, Cerby dropped Ares just 12 hours after bouncing Freeze (Gothia) away, who only tried to invade him in the first place because he dropped Ares, and he got hit. Goodjob continued to send out underdefended, constantly feeding the competition and making no effort whatsoever to make sure he was safe. And Venom (Darthbong)! That guy donated hundreds upon hundreds of acres to just two players. But we could also see from the rankings and in revelations that he was blackopping our enemies, so at least his ledger balanced out a bit more than GoodJob's. | Meanwhile, Cerby dropped Ares just 12 hours after bouncing Freeze (Gothia) away, who only tried to invade him in the first place because he dropped Ares, and he got hit. Goodjob continued to send out underdefended, constantly feeding the competition and making no effort whatsoever to make sure he was safe. And Venom (Darthbong)! That guy donated hundreds upon hundreds of acres to just two players. But we could also see from the rankings and in revelations that he was blackopping our enemies, so at least his ledger balanced out a bit more than GoodJob's. | ||
− | To rally morale, Tyrant King Sharkey declared that he was planning to submit a proposal to the GPC to institute a "tithes" system, which would see Monarchs receiving up to 10% extra platinum income from taxes levied on everyone else in the realm. "It will make everyone feel like part of a team, contributing to the greatness of their King," he explained. Later the same day, he asked us if we'd be interested in funding a Kickstarter for a 3D printed statue bust of his head, engraved with the text "We Served with the Sharkman in Round 32". | + | To rally morale, Tyrant King Sharkey declared that he was planning to submit a proposal to the GPC to institute a "tithes" system, which would see Monarchs receiving up to 10% extra platinum income from taxes levied on everyone else in the realm. "It will make everyone feel like part of a team, contributing to the greatness of their King," he explained. Later the same day, he asked us if we'd be interested in funding a Kickstarter for a 3D printed statue bust of his head, engraved with the text "We Served with the Sharkman in Round 32". |
=== THE FINAL WEEKS === | === THE FINAL WEEKS === | ||
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For my part, I spent my time running interference on the top players. Mostly Koopa, a bit of Chariots (Rury) when he was looking like a roundwinner menace and before he was suicided repeatedly, as well as Lord in #6. I'd run the ops, figure out what was most likely to disrupt them, and just focus doing that. For Koopa, it meant rapid-starving him down from 130k food to 30k in about 24 hours with swarms and food theft - but he got a hit in just before I could twist the knife and built farms. Koopa and Lord were both reliable sources of lumber for a lot of the round too, and I'd always time my thefts so I got as much as I could while their land was coming in, hopefully limiting what they could build right away. | For my part, I spent my time running interference on the top players. Mostly Koopa, a bit of Chariots (Rury) when he was looking like a roundwinner menace and before he was suicided repeatedly, as well as Lord in #6. I'd run the ops, figure out what was most likely to disrupt them, and just focus doing that. For Koopa, it meant rapid-starving him down from 130k food to 30k in about 24 hours with swarms and food theft - but he got a hit in just before I could twist the knife and built farms. Koopa and Lord were both reliable sources of lumber for a lot of the round too, and I'd always time my thefts so I got as much as I could while their land was coming in, hopefully limiting what they could build right away. | ||
− | Beyond that, I was just dealing with my own shit and not really paying attention. I was still driving around in a car wreck due to a combination of being snowed in and things shutting down for New Year, resulting in it not being taken to a garage. Shortly after New Year, my cat tried to burn down my house by turning on the | + | Beyond that, I was just dealing with my own shit and not really paying attention. I was still driving around in a car wreck due to a combination of being snowed in and things shutting down for New Year, resulting in it not being taken to a garage. Shortly after New Year, my cat tried to burn down my house by turning on the oven (bypassing three different safety mechanisms to accomplish her feat) while I was out, and I came home to a house full of smoke from a melted plastic dishwashing basin that I'd left on top of it. I didn't have a New Year's resolution until then, but it certainly made me come up with one at that moment: to break the gypsy curse placed on me. |
Do you know how long it takes to get rid of the smell of burnt plastic out of your house? Genuine question, because I sit here typing this almost a week later and it still smells like burnt plastic. And vinegar. Vinegar, because I read online that vinegar absorbs bad smells. If you ever decide to try it yourself, just know: it doesn't. All it does is add the smell of vinegar to the already unpleasant smell you're trying to get rid of. | Do you know how long it takes to get rid of the smell of burnt plastic out of your house? Genuine question, because I sit here typing this almost a week later and it still smells like burnt plastic. And vinegar. Vinegar, because I read online that vinegar absorbs bad smells. If you ever decide to try it yourself, just know: it doesn't. All it does is add the smell of vinegar to the already unpleasant smell you're trying to get rid of. | ||
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Congratulations to Poige and the rest of realm #2, particularly I'm afraid I just blue shelled myself (Thors Bjørn) for a stonking 8k explore finish. I think after a win like this, where you had virtually the entire playerbase at your throats for most of the round (except the peace-loving hippies in #10, of course), we should probably all just call it quits and declare you guys the winners of the whole game. | Congratulations to Poige and the rest of realm #2, particularly I'm afraid I just blue shelled myself (Thors Bjørn) for a stonking 8k explore finish. I think after a win like this, where you had virtually the entire playerbase at your throats for most of the round (except the peace-loving hippies in #10, of course), we should probably all just call it quits and declare you guys the winners of the whole game. | ||
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Thank you to my active realmies in #11 who, despite our many failures this round, were good banter and fun to play with - even through some of our spicy disagreements! I have painted a bit of a story of disharmony in covering the highlights of this round, but these were just moments in an otherwise amicable and entertaining 50-day round. Even Tyrant King Sharkey, the despotic usurper Monarch, had his moments where he displayed hints of redeemable humanity. And I swear I haven't exaggerated, embellished or straight up invented any of the Sharkman's behaviour recorded in this roundfail story for comedic purposes, just because he stole the Monarchy from me. I'm not that petty. | Thank you to my active realmies in #11 who, despite our many failures this round, were good banter and fun to play with - even through some of our spicy disagreements! I have painted a bit of a story of disharmony in covering the highlights of this round, but these were just moments in an otherwise amicable and entertaining 50-day round. Even Tyrant King Sharkey, the despotic usurper Monarch, had his moments where he displayed hints of redeemable humanity. And I swear I haven't exaggerated, embellished or straight up invented any of the Sharkman's behaviour recorded in this roundfail story for comedic purposes, just because he stole the Monarchy from me. I'm not that petty. | ||
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=== TL;DR === | === TL;DR === | ||
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This round in a nutshell: https://imgur.com/a/3MNqJlC | This round in a nutshell: https://imgur.com/a/3MNqJlC |